perhaps?

 In the next few days, my age turn into 24 years and two months.

Which I considered as an “adult” moment.

This year, lot of people surround me, asking me when I got married.

This question, I assumed as a “irritating” one, “annoying” and yes, undeniably NOT FUN at all.

I’m still focusing on my study. My post grad life push me to be a better than last year. I had to finish my master only in 1,5 years. It’s mandatory. It’s a must.

In other hands, I don’t know why I’m a lil’ bit lazy doing my thesis. It’s not like I don’t like the topic that I already purposed to my thesis advisor, but I don’t know. I’m blessed. Really blessed. This opportunity might be a golden chance for me grab two or 3 steps ahead into my dreams. But I do, need motivation.

In my inner circle, they never push me about married things. Thanks God, my mom and my dad knew my previous experience, therefore, they are patiently waiting. I knew this thing would be a time bombing someday, because y’ know, I’m a girl. A woman.

A woman have biological time to have a birth, and bla bla bla..

I’m sorry if now I’m being such a pessimist or skeptical? 

One thing for sure,

After zero moment of truth, my life is not the same anymore.

I can’t tell my mom about how I feel and what I need now. The problems that now she had to faced somewhat make me scary. I’m afraid she will be too overwhelmed, I’m afraid she will be depressed. Or.. I don’t know. I just wanna make sure that my mom and my dad are happy now. Without any kind of things that crossed to their mind which make them suffered.

Well, it just my fears. Or might be, I need to sleep immediately.

It’s been a week now, I barely sleep..